bleah...

i look out of my window and i see dried mud, rocks and half-dead trees.. how depressing.. stupid construction.. anyway i was clearing up my email and i found some interesting stuff.. this one's quite sweet..

*to my friends*

Somewhere b e t w e e n the procrastination and the homework and the friendships and the sitting around and bitching...and the calls to each other complaining about crushes!
Somewhere b e t w e e n the phone calls to old friends... And the "I miss you"s and the "I love you"s... And the "What are we doing tonight?"s... And somewhere b e t w e e n all of the changing, growing... Somewhere b e t w e e n the classes... And the skipping classes... And the studying for tests.. And the pretending to study for tests....... And the downright NOT studying for tests...
I forgot..........
I forgot what school is all about... I forgot what it meant to cry... I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy... And that pretending to be smart doesn't make you smart.. I forgot that you can't just forget the past in fear of the future... I forgot that you can't control falling in love.. And that you can't make yourself fall in love...
I learned that I can love... I learned that it's okay to mess up... And it's okay to ask for help.. And it's okay to feel like crud.. I learned it's okay to complain and whine to all your friends for a whole day.. I learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can't have.
I learned that the greatest thing about school isn't the dances or the cute guys or the hook-ups...
It's the friendships, which means taking chances... I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about... I learned that letters from friends are the most important thing. And that sending cards to your friends makes you feel better. But, basically, I just learned that my friends... Both o l d and new.. Are the most important people to me in the world. And without them, I wouldn't be who I am today..
So this is a thank you to all of my friends... For always being there and I love you...